history haunts

I ran into my history this afternoon while having lunch with three happily-attached-guys with good-husband-cum-father-qualities collegues in Pioneer Food Centre.

She hadn't changed (her looks) except a few strands of whities and a new ear piercing on her right. She wore no rings. she wore no necklace. she wore no make up. She hadn't gotten rid of a little mole on her right lower cheek.

I believe she still likes her long hair, she still likes blue, she likes comfy sneakers and she carries the same purse (i think).

Same.

Predictable.

Boring.

I think she saw me and I think she saw me seeing her.

I pretend.

I ignore.

Guilt? No....

I think I felt awkard.

I have a very strong urge to call her ... just a few seconds of pondering whether to call out....

I lost her again.

This time I ain't feeling anything.

I utter "Phew".

I'm sick and I'm f**king high