Thoughts and Smiles

I thought of her again.

I thought I was doing well not to think of her again.

I thought I could understand why people were born as jerks

I thought I could refrain myself from jumping into conclusions

I thought I was betrayed

I thought I was misunderstood

I thought I could control my emotions

I thought I was smarter

I thought I was stronger

I thought I could forget

I thought I could sleep

I thought I was unreasonable

I though I was insane

In the end, I was inanely foolish, pathetically indulge in melancholic thoughts and useless wanting.

A sleepless Saturday 4am. Alone in the house.

I hate to be left alone these days…yes….. recently …. I have to cope with myself …with the pain that was relentless chewing my soul. It was an exquisite pain.

Heart was grasped, slashed and topped with immense acidity. Pounding with an erratic beat.

Alone…. Relentlessly thinking about her, allowing myself to be heartstabbed

Flashes of her soothing smile, her beautiful face and flawless hair embraces my heart, hurting and healing it.

However, no regrets, I should have.

For the immense feelings towards her,

For a better understanding of myself,

For a realisation of selfishness and

For my wrenched heart

I need to smile and talk normally.


I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell, I know, right now u can’t tell………………