There is no free lunch

I am not done for the day yet. The URGE is so strong, so intense and tremendous.

None of my lunch buddies are available to lunch with me this afternoon because they are having free lunches. This leaves me lunching quietly in my office listening to…..… ”SUPERMAN”

I am pretty happy and comfortable with myself albeit my inconsistent memory and sense of direction. I think I can remember events very well. Sometimes I am even taken aback that I can still remember activities and conversations probably backdated to when I was still a mischievous impish 2 year old menace .

Paradoxically, I also think I have the lousiest short-term-memory. I takes my 3 days to a week to write a cheque to pay for my bills. So it is very typical of me to carry the cheque on my way to work and exclaimed “ damn! The cheque” when I reach home at the end of the day. Jotting down in notebooks using prominent color pens and hi-lighters as well as setting reminder alarms using my mobile phone are just plain useless.

I think everyone has their own unique natural gift and sometimes we wonder whether we are blessed or are we cursed. I have benefited greatly from this ability during my academic years as well as my current job. If I make an attempt to memorize, I can remember ridiculously the conversations during meetings, conversations with boss and colleagues, document codes, brief contents of the documents and sometimes even the authors!

You see….. there is no free lunches in this world, on one hand, you are completely blessed with an unusual innate capability on the other hand, it turns out to be a terrible curse as people starts to get weary of you.

I can’t help but to feel amused. Should I feel guilty? Well… sometimes this innate capability of mine has caused people to think less of themselves and making them feel burdened. This is so insane….. Having good memory is a precious gift for me but sometimes was regarded as a treacherous, satanic tool that I am born with it. Ha!

This is insane

Frankly, I don’t know how am I supposed to handle this dilemma. But I am pretty sure that I am sick of feeling bad and guilty. I believe there is no way to respond without sounding or worse, displaying a false sense of humility. Maybe I should feel grateful just the way I am as my friend has commented “it is so hard to be you”.

Yes, buddy

“It’s not easy to be me”

BTW, have I started to talk about my sense of direction? hehehe