Too close

I had the entire afternoon to myself today. It has been a long time that I have some time to myself to do some housekeeping, literally and mentally.

I was going through my blog and realise I have been an emotional nincompoop all this while. Nevertheless, I have never felt myself closer to my own feelings for her. Real close. Frightening.

I think I just want to admit that while I certainly have a lot to digress, I am actually not ready for myself yet. I am just trying to be easy on the thought of recognising myself and knowing what the f**k I am doing and thinking all this while. All my friends, please be patient with me.

While, I jolly well knew the rules of keeping and maintaining friendship as well as starting and sustaining a serious relationship, I am still learning and picking up skills that I have never been exposed to. Many thanx to those gurus out there. I have learnt a great deal. Frankly. The level of diplomacy was upped a few notches.

I knew from confiding to confronting, that there is a groundswell of frustration and antagonism about the state of any relationship. I have eaten that little humble pie. I am retrofitting my emotion fortress.