Angry Tuas sky

Across the darkness of the angry Tuas sky; threatening to pour anytime, the silence seems deafening at this time of the day. The situation looks bleaker and grimmer each day. Doom. Gloom.

It is very easy for one to fall into the abyss of gloom, if not despair. However, one must understand that this is destructive because gloom outgrows gloom.

My friend felt he was doomed. Even before he realised he has fallen in love. He fell madly, very madly in love with this beautiful-kind-angelic girl. However, she was so drawn towards, not my friend, but my friend’s buddy. This seemed to be a very cliché boy-likes-girl-but-girl-likes-boy’s buddy triangle.

“I am in love, my goodness, I am in love. It is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. And believe me, it is very painful as well” my friend uttered, vehemently.

“Let me wake you up, you insolent fool. Let yourself fall in love. Do it. You are simply wasting your time; your soul … In this current, cruel and crazy world, having the courage and strength to love is something that is so unwise.”…………………………….

……………………….”Stop torturing yourself, and stop mutilating your soul. Stop hurting yourself, stop hurting everyone else. You must know, my friend, this is suicidal, a slow and painful suicide. Stop letting the devil engulfs every inch of your soul” Many have admonished my friend.

“I am aware of the fatality. So be it. If only I have a short time to live. I will live and love twice, thrice deeply. So deep u can possibly imagine” laments my friend. Stubborn.

There are umpteen occasions, where my friend has came to me, looked defeated. Antagonised. Hurt. Full of remorse.

Souplad: Why are you so easily angered?

My friend: I don’t know

Souplad: Ok…..then …what makes you angry?

My friend: Myself

Souplad : Probably you are still clinging onto anger. Do you enjoy being angry?

My friend: …… of course not……its gives me headache and I wonder anger will kill me eventually.

Souplad: But it seems to me that you enjoy being angry. Cos u seem to allow yourself to be angry all the time.

My friend: ……

Souplad: Pardon me, if that makes you feel like a pervert who loves and enjoy being angry. Likes to be hurt and tortured.

My friend: Are you nuts?

Souplad: Are u? I shall leave you alone for a while? Be truthful to yourself. Give others and yourself some respect. Do yourself some justice. Ok?.........................................

It began to pour.....

Stop complaining and start blogging

These couple of months has been littered with occasional hurricanes of busy document reviews and listening to colleagues b***ching about how much work sucks. Everyone is a whining complainer. Typically, I would concur with them. However, in order not to lose much sanity, I will, occasionally, step back and really see whether my work sucked.

The place I am working is really an f**king weird place. I have to deal with a myriad of weirdoes, including myself. I will spare you the details of the B**t**ds and B***ches as they should very best be left forever ignored.

U see…. I can confidently say that I can accomplish what has been expected of me, in a double quick time. [ Ok.. I think it is okay for me to boast occasionally in my blog.] That is…… four about-a -hundred-paged-document reviews in an afternoon.

I think the problem lies in me. Not my f**king job and not the f**king place I am working in.

I feel I am too f**king efficient and the place I am working is just too f**king slow for me. I started to realise this when my co-workers say these things to me….. “what's the hurry, souplad”; “can you be more patient”; “I need more time before I can forward this to you”.

There are times I think I needed to downgrade myself in order to feel in-sync and comfortable with the people who are working with me. Believe me…… it is an art….. it requires balance. That’s why nowadays I try to blog or read blogs……..kudos to yellow banana and miss jb diehard who offered me a peek in the pandora’s box of blogs

Paradoxically, I feel lousy. Feeling underutilised.

What’s wrong with me?