Soup of the Dae

我的相片
名稱:
位置: Singapore

Not you.

星期六, 1月 21, 2006

fruits buffet

I have successfully lugged a box of orange and grapes back to my apartment, yesterday.

I gave a box of pears away because I don't think I can finish them before I head back to Singapore next sunday.

40 oranges and at least 5kg of grapes, how to finish them in one week wor?

I could have finished the grapes faster if they are seedless. Damn.

Ah ha! Use a Juice extracter! ... A super-effective way of eating fruits... I think.

I can easily down 10 oranges and a kg of grapes in a day, this way.

But But ... I wonder if I would lao-sai if I attempt to finish all of them within a week. Hmmmmm

BAO BAO, SHOU BIAO , YAO MA?

Shanghai’s famous (err ….notorious to the big bros like BOSS, LV, Ermenegildo Zegna, Prada, Gucci, ..…) Xiang Yang Market is shutting down in a few months.

I believe this is not new to the locals and the tourists. I have been hearing my friends and colleagues saying “Better go grab something as the vendors are trying to get rid of their goods before the market closes for good”

I have made several trips to this famous market with some friends and yes …these ridiculously-cheap-but- look-really-real LVs, BOSS, Taggies, Kenneth Cole, NorthFace, Lowies….have lived up to their reputation… CHEAP, LOOK REAL

The vendors have been resilent, despite the harsh death sentence of XiangYang market. They have already chosen to operate in another way. They resort to touting. We probably cannot expect to see them displaying such goods in broad-day light but be reassured that you will be asked “ Bao Bao, Shou Biao, yao ma?” (bags, watches, u want?) as you mingled among the tourists and local shoppers.

Anyway, I find their way of getting business amusing. I thought they wanted to keep the sale of counterfeit goods, discrete. On contrary, they approach almost everyone who passes by them and ask them in a hush-hush-don’t-let-anyone-know-I-am-selling-fake-goods manner…..

“Bao Bao, Shou Biao, yao ma?”

Many have viewed the decision to shut down Xiang Yang Market as a “WAYANG” (Malay word for OPERA) performed by the chinese government to appease the big bros of WTO.

Do u think the shutting down of XiangYang market will deter or end the sale of “cheap-but-look-really-real” goods?

I think the answer is apparent and best supported by the good-old-economics....SUPPLY & DEMAND

星期五, 1月 20, 2006

Stupidity kills

ZX: The rice crackers look delicious, shall we buy
Me: ok

After paying 15 yuan, ZX and I went to starbucks in XinTianDi.

ZX: shall we eat the crackers
Me: ok

She started to open up the packet anxiously. She fished out one big round rice cracker with her right hand and...

ZX: Give u.
Me: Or ...ok

She dipped her right hand back and this time she fished out a small white packet with lotsa fine prints..

Dat packet looked damn familiar to me......

ZX: Oh.... we forget to add seasoning
Me: No no, not seasoning this is GAN ZAO JI (drying agent).

Imagine, if I went away when she was opening up this packet of rice cracker.

I wouldn't want to be responsible for this.

Nah-buay.... sibuay gong lor....

3 am

Wide-awake at 3am. Perpetual incoherent trains of thoughts continued to fill his mind with countless deadknots. As the fleeting unrepentant emotions unleashed itself without any regards of mercy, helpless Souplad searched frantically for protection and begged for inner peace.

At last! His feeble request was seen by the demons as one of his deepest vulnerability. Stripped bare and left in the cold. Shivering with despair and grief. Wind chills screamed while compassion and mercy whispered. Inaudible.

As helplessness continued to overwhelm every inch of his soul; his constitution and beliefs, poison proved to be an antidote to his mindf**ked mind.

Engulfed.

He was once again released and disconnected from his shell.

Poisonous fluffy words and warm feelings started to fill his soul as he danced with the moon amongst the glittering stars on a cloudless January skies. The gaze of the moon and the twinkle of the stars warmed every inch of his shivering pathetic soul. His vacuumed heart had also started to dance, catching every beat of hope and warmth.

He was happy.

Happiness is over-rated.

He refused to wake up. He feared that it will be tears of rage, frustration, and confusion that he will begin a Friday morning.

星期四, 1月 19, 2006

M.I.C.

Guess... 3 words.

M____ I____ C_____

Courtesy of Edward Burtynsky

End of the world

Why does the sun goes on shinning?

Why does a dog hump humps a cat?

courtesy of http://www.nyvelocity.com

Don't they know it's the end of the world,

it ended when men learns to knit!!!




WTF!!!! This is mass hysteria!!!

Little Blue Ball

I was strolling nonchalantly along an unknown lake. Soaking myself in the chilly winds and among the early risers, I allowed myself to remain isolated from the bitter, bleak Shanghai morning mundanity.

An abrupt sensation on my lower calf made me stop. I gazed at a blue ball beside my right foot. I bent over and picked up the blue ball. It was a dusty blue ball imprinted with repeated butterflies pattern.

My ball! Someone hollers. A little boy. A little boy with red blushed cheeks. A little boy wrapped with thick oversized grey jacket. A little boy running towards me. My ball!

I extended my right hand and handed the dusty blue ball imprinted with repeated butterflies patterns back to him.

Now, the boy took the dusty blue ball imprinted with repeated butterflies patterns and started running up a gently grass slope.

Recalling moments ago, my right hand had been holding on to the dusty blue ball imprinted with repeated butterflies patterns………..

Dusty blue ball imprinted with repeated butterflies patterns


Nothing in my right hand now


I am holding on


A bitter-cold, bleak January skies

Quantity matters, Size matters.

I have completed most of my task here... generating test protocols ... yes....in short, producing heaps of documentation.

Now, all I have to do is to wait for 5 levels of approvals. There are 11 sets of such protocols. Imagine.

Maybe bureaucracy does have its goodness... yeah... so that I can have time to make short entries like this while waiting for approvals

I was invited for badminton and basketball, last night. The sport complex is

HUGE.


I miss these sports when I'm here as I used to have games of badminton with my Singapore colleagues every Friday evening.

3 hours of non-stop action. Yes, I felt great. It's a shame that this is only a monthly affair.

==============================================

This morning, I saw a box of oranges and a box of XinJiang pears on my table. I found out that these were given out to the rest of my colleagues too. Apparently, this has to do with the forthcoming CNY.

I recalled I was only given 2 mandarin oranges during CNY when I was working in Singapore... Imagine one box of orange and one box of pears as compared to two miserable tiny mandarin oranges....(sorry no pics as cameras are not allowed to be brought into the premises)

When u are in china, u will understand what is meant by


SIZE


& QQQUUUAAANNNTTTIIITTTYYY.

=============================================

UPDATE: ANOTHER CRATE OF GRAPES!!!!!! I'm Loving it.

星期三, 1月 18, 2006

A great reduction

I was telling a couple of my friends that I have lost almost 12 kg when I'm here in Shanghai. Yes..... the LCD screen of the weighing scale seems to smile and display 74.3kg a couple of weeks ago. I was 86.7 when I left Singapore for Shanghai.

I felt bewildered coz I didn't notice any drastic changes. I dun think I have been losing water coz I have been drinking like a parked camel when I am here coz the weather is fecking dry.

I am still having those love handles, chubby cheeks and my balls hadn't shrunk a bit.

So where does the 12 kg come from?

Last friday, I finally get myself to meet Wendy, a friendly-fecking-expensive-aussie GP coz I have been coughing badly for almost a month. This time, I weighed 76kg. Wendy reassured me that I am not suffering from any terminal illness. Instead she asked me how did I manage to lose so much weight over a span of 2 months.

Make yourself cough every night, I replied.

Ok listen up for those who wanted to know how I lose 12 or rather 10 kg in a period of 2 months, I will tell u what I eat or do when I am here. However, I shall not be responsible for any mishap if u decide to mimic what I do and eat. Here goes...

Wake up an hour earlier b4 u hit the roads.

Hydrate yourself with half to one litre of water. Take your time (about 10mins),drink slowly.... don't drown.

Perform some stretching exercises as you would always do before u engage in any ball games or sports. 20 mins

Take a hot shower and start your day.

When u reach office, eat as much as u could. Make sure u have a power-packed breakfast. I took lotsa granolas from "Sweet home farm" plus a cuppa of unsweetened coffee or skimmed milk.

About 10am I will take some more granolas as snack and continue to drink as much water as possible. Granolas are fibre-rich food hence u need to drink up, else u will be constipated in no time.

Lunch will be fruits, walnuts/almonds or granolas. U might be wondering why am I eating only granolas. Food found here is very salty and oily. In short, avoid carbo during lunch becoz carbo makes u sleepy.

If u need some snacks in the afternoon, take some cucumber strips or any fruits. Almonds , sunflower seeds (unsalted ones) are good snack items. They contain loads of vit E. Walnuts are splendid too as it contains omega three fatty acids that lowers ya blood cholesterol.

Before dinner, I will take about an hour, walking briskly around the neighbourhood every alternate day. I will work out in the gym (usually treadmills and free weights)for 2 hours. 20mins on the treadmill and 20 mins of free weights or bench press. 3 cycles. Steal some time to catch your breath.

Take a hot shower after ya exercise

I usually avoid dinner at all cost. I will fixed some soup if I am hungry. Mainly broccoli and mushroom soup. U can use skimmed milk and low fat cheese to give the slight creamy consistency and taste. Avoid salt.

Never eat (2 hours) before you hit the sack.

During weekends, I will usually take some meat. But I am trying to abstain from taking them. I am replacing meat with toufu and gluten. I would like to take some fish but fresh fishes are not ready available here. Sometimes I splurge on the local DIMSUM.. like XIAO LONG BAO (little steam meat dumplings) and GUO TIE (pan fried meat dumplings.... I will usually take the meat and a little of the dumpling skin as the latter contains carbo that makes u sleepy and lethargic.

Despite all these, I am still a sucker for Thosai, Wanton Mee and Deep Fried Fritters dipped in Soybean Drink.

I'm not a dog, don't blame me

Girls do fart, I believe.

It always cracks me up when they started to deny the fact they fart. For some god-know-what-kinda-crap-shit-reason they are taught farting is a BIG NO NO.

Come on…farting is cool… its loosens u up and it does releases endophrine that makes u happy. Guys are taught to whistle after they fart, in the army. Some are even taught to shout their “platoon or company names”. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

“No….girls don’t fart, u disgusting pig” ……

Jesus Christ…. Girls do fart. Don’t deny and stop bullshitting.

So…… why am I lamenting about this.


I met up with my friend last Saturday. She brought her friend, Joanne as well. We entered the lift. Just three of us. Suddenly, I smelled something like rotten eggs. Yes somebody has farted.

NOT ME!

But in this situation, the only guy (that’s me) is sure gonna take the blame. I have validated this last Saturday.

Both of them stared at me! I was giving them the what?-not-me-look. We did not talk about this for the rest of the morning

Last night, I met my friend in MSN. She IM me and say that I am a huge f**king gas ball. She was disappointed. I told her “Not me” She replied that girls don’t fart or they don’t fart in public. What’s more ridiculous was, she claimed even if they fart, their farts doesn’t smell….. if they do smell… .it doesn’t smell like rotten eggs or sh*t .

Fart doesn’t smell like sh*t, then what does it supposed to smell? Lilies , roses? .

WTF

Now get this straight, fart smells like Poo Poo and that’s f**king normal. Unless, one decided to dabbed some No 5 up their bung hole.

Lesson 1: Girls are smart and amazing. They can vent their share of greenhouse gas in stealth mode. They must have evolved to a point where they have developed a special muscle that act as a control valve to regulate the gas venting.

Lesson 2: Girls will fart in public where there’re all guys...because nobody will believe it’s coming from her. The rest of the guys will start blaming each other. And if u dare to blame on her, others will holler “ hey sick fella, she’s a girl. Girl don’t fart and if she fart it wouldn’t smell. Unlike you, gas ball” See...... girls make guys fight with each other.

Lesson 3: Girls deny and they do it really well. At the end of the day, their rules rule.

星期二, 1月 17, 2006

Don't kill me with your song

I was invited to a karaoke session organised by the Purchasing Manager. I was puzzled why was I joining the purchasing department’s team building.

Well anyway, I believe this is not important.

PartyWorld. It was a pity that I did not take any pictures. Anyway I was not supposed to take any pictures within the premises.

PartyWorld is f**king MASSIVE. It is a four storied building filled with numerous karaoke “pigeon holes”. The package throws in an all-u-can-eat-n-drink buffet as well. (sorry no such thing as all-u-can-sing)

Anyway, I have always been very curious what kinda songs my Shanghai colleagues listen and sing. I apologise for my ignorance and stereotypical view of them listening only to patriotic songs.

Picture this...... a row of Chinese standing side-by-side with their right arm raised across their chest singing ....

“RU GUO SHI ZHE YANG . .NI BU YAO BEI AI.. GONG HE GUO DE TU DI SHANG YOU WO MEN XUE RAN DE FENG CAI…....." This is a very popular song among the chinese - (Blood-stained Honor??)

Also....high-pitched-opera-like songs that describe mountains and rivers……Aiks. The thought of them singing these songs makes me cringed so hard. I cannot possibly imagine, if I am going to sit through the entire karaoke session filled with these songs… No offence to my Shanghai colleagues .. but these songs are simply not my cuppa tea.

As I stepped into the room with curiosity, I was quickly overwhelmed with strange looks. I can hardly see any familiar faces except Li Shi Fu, my company chauffeur. As expected ….the usual cliché awkwardness sinked in. After a round of introduction ( honestly, I can’t be bothered to remember their names as I already know I am lousy at remembering names), we started choosing songs

I was proven wrong .....no bloody honour…. no songs about mountains and rivers…

all the songs chosen were almost the cliché commercial junks that are played to death over the radio and in channel [V] e.g. “LAO SHU AI DA MI” {mouse likes rice} n “TONG HUA” {fairy tales}

WTF.

The most important thing I have had learnt in this karaoke session was the ART of Choosing Songs and their CULTURE of Choosing Songs for others. I hope I have had not offended anyone of them.

So what’s the big deal of this Chinese Karaoke Culture.

The Chinese Karaoke Culture is somehow strongly related to Food. Yes. Food! Let me explain.

We, Chinese are a bunch of very thoughtful people. We believe strongly in community as opposed to the western beliefs of individualism. So, when it comes to food ordering, the host will have to crack his/her brains to order food that caters to everyone, unlike the westerners who believe in ordering their own food.

It is also very common for them to recommend u some of their favorite dishes and insist u trying. This act is also commonly known as proposing a toast over the dinner table.

I have learnt that proposing a toast does not limit to alcohol… toasting includes food as well... and in this case ...KARAOKE SONGS too!!! All thanks to Li Shi Fu imparting this knowledge to me.

I was toasted with songs by Jay Chou, David Tao, JJ. I knew I am only capable of scaling the high notes when my balls are squeezed. I kindly turn down the offer as there is no way that I am squeezing my balls

Wally, the purchasing manager came late. The nightmare begins when he started to sing songs by “DAO LANG” ( a very famous singer) ..yeah.....songs about mountains, rivers, snow, clouds, I cringed so hard. (* x *). Luckily we had only 30 minutes left

As expected, I have always impressed friends, friends’ friends, and strangers with my melancholic songs. I was even asked to perform in the company’s CNY DnD.

Now that’s another interesting thing to explore. CNY DnD in Shanghai…..…

Shower me with love not coffee...idiot

Yes, I have promised to be nice to you.

After u suffered a major stroke, I have tried my best to shower u with love, tenderness and care.

I am sorry. This morning, I shower u with a cuppa of coffee instead. Believe me it's purely an accident plus my lack-of-sleep-clumsiness.

I am glad u are still responding.

Forgive me, Latitude.

星期日, 1月 15, 2006

Magical Mischief

Mischievous kids....Somehow I like preserving their mischievous moments. I’m a sucker for these shots... especially those impish pair of eyes.... filled with magical and irrational thoughts and ideas..











Perhaps that's something that keep me sane these days. I was a mischievous one... I have always wanted to me more kuai lan (mischievous n stubborn)than any other kids.



Chen Jialing..... someone who I have always wanted to impress when I was 12....was always thinking how to get her attention. I was lucky...I was made to sit with her by my p6 form teacher.... because I think, I had been too noisy and rowdy with the rest of the boys in class.

She was sitting barely 20 cm away from me and I was too coward to speak to her. I did something stupid to get her attention... and this had always remain as one of the many regrets in my life.

Errr....I pulled away her chair when she was trying to sit after we greeted our Science teacher. I believe she hated me from that time.

Jialing...if u happen to run into my blog.....



I know this is a big time belated apology....sowee

Beyond Comprehension

hmmm.. underground...hmm. now I am really curious

no angels allowed

Yah.. Xiang Fei is older

WTF

Huh? Orh Bu Chi Dao..