GeTai Humor

Heard from the Getai set up near my place. (Those who know Hokkein or Teochew will understand)


Angmoh master: Did u mop my floor?
Cleaner: Yes sir, floor very good very good
Angmoh master steps into the living room and slipped. Groaning in pain
Cleaner: Sir Sir u ok? floor very good very good.


( "Good" phonetically means slippery in teochew or hokkein)

CONGRATULATIONS SINGAPORE!!!

I am a Singaporean.

I am proud to be a Singaporean.


Congratulations Singapore!!!

86 AGAIN!

Passed my Basic Theory Evaluation this morning

Sat through two lessons of Advanced Theory Lessons. Plenty of tips given by one of the instructors during the lessons, though less than 10 percent came out in the Advanced Theory evaluation.

Both lessons are equally interesting. I believe once I started to drive I will understand the frustrations of most drivers have pertaining to PEDESTRAIN.

More videos to watch during these two lessons and I believe these visuals had done a splendid job in warning all the drivers-wannabe-and-gonnabe about the potential dangers. Although, I have opted to learn to drive Auto Car, I have to go through stuffs like sequence of operating brakes, accelerator and clutch.

I am glad that I opted for Auto Car.

Later in the afternoon, after finishing the advanced theory lessons I head straight to take the Final Theory Evaluation hoping I will pass it. As I have learnt my lesson yesterday when I failed my first attempt of the Basic Theory Evaluation (not test yet), I made a point to read through the advanced theory book at least 3 times last night!

It is a lot harder than I think especially to memorise (which I dont have to coz I am learning an Auto car) how to manovere the clutch, brakes and accelerator when we do gradual bends, sharp bends, upslope, down slope, overtaking... etc

How to remember so many ?

And *sigh* I failed on my first attempt to pass the Advanced theory evaluation. I scored 86 percent AGAIN!!!! (90 percent to pass)... Just need another 2 correct answers.

The following are some of the questions that I have overlooked when reading the book....

1. One is barred for taking any test for accumulating ______________demerit points . Answer is 13 not 12. Damn!

2. Child restrainers must be employed for Kids below ______meters.. I cannot remember

3When stopping what is the first thing u do.

4. What gear do we use if we are going downhill... lower gear, higher gear or neutral gear.... I read from the book is either gear 3 or 2 so u ask me how to choose wor.

5. Also there are a couple of scenerio questions that I am unsure.... say car A is attempting to turn overtake car C on a single lane-two way traffic, when inched out car A saw Car B approaching from opposite lane.....

What is the answer? Cannot find in book. Sigh... So i use switch to KIA SI common sense....
--> Of coz Car A must behave like tortise lar... give way to Car C and Car B..... Sekali Car B headon collision with Car A how... Also Car C is a freaking big lorry.

Correct or Not?
6... You enter flood water ... u should accelerate and ____________.. engage half clutch, switch to low gear, switch to high gear.

There are many more questions that u cannot find in the book. Which makes me think they will almost always fail folks at the first attempt .... *sour grapes*

FYI ( to those who are learning driving, )

U have to complete 2 mandatory Basic Theory lessons and 2 mandatory Advanced Theory lessons. U also have to PASS the Basic Theory EVALUATION and Final Theory EVALUATION 14 days before the Basic Theory test and Final theory test respectively, else u will have to be disqualified from the test and u have to wait for at least another 2 to 3 months to book the next test dates!!

So my advice is to finish all the lessons first. Take the evaluations well before the test.. there can be taken in any order.. no pre-requisiste. Take practice lessons before the evaluation to increase the probabily of passing.

Unlike me I chose to test my luck to try evaluation without practice...... failed at the first attempt for both evaluations. = (

Nevertheless, I promise u, little lamb that u will be the first passenger once I get my license. U might want to wear a helmet. hahaha

Thank you

This is a thank you card drawn by a 5 year old sweetie pie, Morgan

Thanx Andrew for providing the narration.

ROFL.

Here's the what Morgan says ... ( Andrew, I seriously think this is what u added... not Morgan)

Morgan said "This is Samuel... he has black eyes..."

Morgan said "This is Samuel on top of hill... he is lost"

Morgan said"He climb up the hill this way.. he was tired"

Morgan said "This is a big hill in China....why did he climb it..."

Morgan said "He should have just gone down this way.

And Yes, I did lost my way in one of the mountains in Hong Kong .. See Post titled "HILANG"

Drink Driving -- Yuan Wang ah

Took the first two basic theory lessons this afternoon.

Surprisingly the lessons turned out to be quite informative and fun because both instructors had good sense of humor to make the lesson less boring and yet informative.

Besides watching a couple of "live accidents" video captured by the traffic cameras, the instructors shared many true stories.

One piece of information that comes as a surprise to me!

One can be charged Under section 62... for drink driving even he is resting in the driver seat irregardless where he parked his car!

Reason given --> Intoxicated and resting in the driver seat consitutes to "attempting to drive"

I was thinking one can be very wronged especially in the following situation....

You are intoxicated but your friend is sober. Out of goodwill, u allow him or her to drive your car to his/her house first and leave you resting in car parked near his/her house (e.g. hdb carpark) till u are sober.

You can be charged for drink driving as u cannot prove beyond resonable doubts that u did not drive or attempt to drive under the influence of alcohol.

Nope, your friend cannot be the witness due to conflict of interest.

U can therefore kiss ya license goodbye then yell " YUAN WANG ah DA REN .. YUAN WANG ah"


I asked the instructor, what if one rest on the passenger seat?
Guess what is the answer.... It's ok!!!

Reason given, if the driver is resting in the driver seat, he is very near the steering wheel and he can reach to start the engine easily. That consitutes to "ATTEMPTING TO DRIVE" under the influence of alcohol!!!

on the other hand, if the drunk driver is resting in the passenger seat he is further away from the source where he can attempt to drive!!!

Here's the excerpt of section 62

Driving while under influence of drink or drugs. —(1) Any person who, when driving or attempting to drive a motor vehicle on a road or other public place —
(a) is unfit to drive in that he is under the influence of drink or of a drug or an intoxicating substance to such an extent as to be incapable of having proper control of such vehicle; or
(b) has so much alcohol in his body that the proportion of it in his breath or blood exceeds the prescribed limit,
shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine of not less than $1,000 and not more than $5,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months and, in the case of a second or subsequent conviction, to a fine of not less than $3,000 and not more than $10,000 and to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 12 months.

HUAT AH

It is an annual event and my excollegues and I have been doing it for more than a decade.

Every year we always have plenty to laugh about. This year the highlight is a hilarious video of one of my ex collegue's son trying to "LION DANCE" that ended up like he is in trans or probably had too much ecstasy.

We had our dinner in a korean resturant located at Amara Hotel 2nd Level. Very good food! High recommended!

By the way, I have just learnt when we do the "Lou Yu Shang", besides tossing the Yu shang and saying auspicious words, other parties need to respond "SHOU DAO (mandarin) or XIU DIO (hokkein), SAO DOU (cantonese).. depending on dialect " to signify we have received whatever u say during the tossing!!! haha. no wonder I have not received anything I or we have said for the last decade.

Nevertheless, I always have the penchant to embarrass everyone by shouting very loudly "HUAT AH" during the YU SHANG ritual!

Attention seeking

Bank Officer: Good morning, how may i help u?
Souplad: My brother would like to open an eSaver account.
Bank Officer: What is your relationship with him?
Souplad (giving disbelieving look, my bro also looked blur): He is my Brother. Ya he is my brother.
Bank Officer: Ok. How may I address u.
Souplad: Mr Yang.
Bank Officer: Mr Yang, is this going to be a Joint or individual account?
Souplad: My brother is opening the account, So I believe it's gonnabe individual, right bro?

.........after a couple of minutes of typing

Bank Officer asking my bro: What is ya last name?
Souplad's bro: YANG
Bank Officer asking souplad: What is ya last name?
Souplad: We are brothers, so I am YANG also
Bank Officer: Oh sorry. So is this is gonnabe an individual account?


Really peng-sang..... "yes its an individual account.. and why u are asking my last name.!!!! "

WAH LAU EH.... WAKE UP LAH bank officer.

Of coz Souplad did not reply that way. Souplad is still a gentleman